Do you know someone or are you someone who is worried about your aging loved ones? Or is that aging
loved one you?

It is one thing to be thrown into crisis mode and forced to make quick decisions on unstudied facts because of sudden illness or tragic mishaps of a senior loved one, but it is a totally different situation and feeling to observe the changes of our loved ones over time. Some of our elders are well aware of their gradual decline and are faced with fears, worries and stresses. One of which is for them to actually admit and discuss these thoughts:

“I shouldn’t share my fears and worries with my children or caregivers because I do not want to burden them; they have their own lives and own concerns. I don’t want to be more trouble for them.”

I hear this a great deal from my clients. This thought process can be dangerous. This type of thought pattern is an obstacle for protecting themselves and the ones they love. I would encourage you, the senior, to let your loved ones know your concerns, worries or fears. It will allow them to help you in areas of importance such as your safety, continuing your independence as long as possible, downsizing if that is your wish, securing your finances and your estate. When lines of communication are open, everyone involved will be in a more stable, emotional position which in turn will allow for the proper choices to be made in securing a comfortable and safe lifestyle for you.

On the other hand, some of our elders are unaware of their decline due to diseases which affect their memory or their ability to make informed and rational decisions. In cases such as these, loved ones must become involved and take the initiative to explore safety, finances and estate planning for their senior loved one. It is best to seek professional assistance in these very personal matters.

Then there are the cases where decline is evident to everyone except the senior loved one. It could be because they mentally still feel 25 years old and they continue to push themselves to unrealistic goals or because they are flat out in denial that they may need some form of assistance. Or perhaps they feel that if they admit to needing assistance, their loved ones and/or caregivers will barge in and take over completely, leaving them with no say in the matter of their choices in life. We cannot allow our senior loved ones to feel this way. I don’t think any of us are looking forward to getting older and being faced with the day to day decline that was once something we observed in others.

The fact of the matter is, everyone directly involved with an aging senior loved one experiences some form of worry, fear or perhaps some family members feel inadequate because they do not live nearby to their senior loved ones. These family members may experience additional feelings of guilt, sadness or even anxiety because the responsibilities of the actions required are falling upon their siblings who live closer to their aging loved one. Each position they holds their own difficulties and challenges.

The only way to try and alleviate some of these stresses is to confront them in a gentle and informative manner. Let’s face it, don’t we all feel better after a good heart to heart? Let each other know how you care and sometimes worry about them. Once you open up your heart and mind to one another, the sky will seem a bit brighter and you can tackle the matter at hand in a positive and effective way.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help no matter which area of the equation you are in.

For more information and proper resources that fit your needs and the needs of our aging loved ones, please go to www.aseniorschoiceonline.com or call Clare directly at (518)424-2527.